Tom McCarthy Newsletter: Issue 24
Lessons From a Life Well Lived
Normally the last half of December is a time when I am able to relax and recharge for the coming year. This past December was different, very different for me. I lost a client and a dear friend when Len Aoyama passed away from a rare lung disease. Len was the owner of a successful insurance agency and about 6 years ago he hired me as his coach and as a consultant for his company. While I was technically Len's coach, I learned so much from watching the way he lived his life. This newsletter is dedicated to sharing some of those lessons I learned from watching Len.
Lesson #1- Always Keep Learning
I've coached quite a few CEO's over the years, but I have only run across one or two who were as hungry to learn and grow as Len. He was always asking questions and reading. Whenever I mentioned a book for him to read, he would have his assistant Maricel order it that same day. Len read several business and personal development books a month and if he really liked a book he would order several copies and give them to people who he thought could benefit from the book. I was the recipient of several books from Len and he was always sending or emailing me articles that he thought I would find interesting.
Lesson #2- Ask for Constructive Feedback
Every time I would come up to participate in a meeting that Len was leading with his team, the same thing would happen. As I would be driving back to my office my cell phone would ring and it would be Len. He'd start by thanking me for being at the meeting and letting me know how much he appreciated me and then he would always ask, "How did I do running the meeting?" I'd let him know the things he did well, but that wasn't good enough for Len. He would thank me for the compliments, but he really wanted to know "How can I get better?" He was famous for asking this question and he truly wanted to know the answer. He was relentless in improving himself and he knew he needed other people's feedback to be able to do it.
Lesson #3- Plant Positive Beliefs in Others
Len could be tough on people at times, but he had an amazing gift of being able to build people up through his communication. He was a master of praising people in public. Many times when I was in his office he would walk me over to the desk of one of his team members and he would tell me right in front of them what a superstar they were. It was amazing to see that team member light up from hearing Len's public praise. Len was also famous for taking people who had gone through difficult times and helping them to build successful careers in his company. Through the positive beliefs he planted and nourished in his team members he literally helped dozens of people live their life at a whole new level.
Lesson #4- Be a Giver
Generosity was Len's middle name. Len knew that my son Tommy was a basketball fan and arranged on several occasions for Tommy and I to go to Los Angeles Laker basketball games. Len was always giving; to his employees, his friends, his wife, his family and even to strangers. On the day after Len died, I had been in his office, which is on the 9th floor in a large office building. As I was leaving the parking lot and heading home the parking lot attendant he asked me if I had heard the bad news. I didn't even know that he knew Len because Len always left the parking lot through a separate exit, but he told me that he was sad because the "great man on the 9th floor had died." I asked him how he knew Len and he said Len would stop and talk to him when he was walking to his car and that recently Len had given him tickets for him and his son to go see a Los Angeles Angels baseball game. He said he had been meaning to thank Len for the great time he and his son had, but he hadn't go
tten a chance. Len's final gift was the donation to the UCLA Hospital Donor Program of his organs. Several people he never knew have a new lease on life because of Len.
Lesson #5- Believe in Yourself
Len was extremely confidant. He only had a high school education, but he built a tremendously successful business. He would tell the story that he was not an overnight success in the insurance industry. According to Len, his success came though hard work and sheer determination. I saw Len go through many challenges in the years I coached him, but I never saw him lose his confidence. He was the eternal optimist and his confidence and optimism allowed him to overcome substantial obstacles and reach lofty heights.
Lesson #6- Live Courageously
Len didn't have the look of the stereotypical hero. He was average height and a little overweight, but he was as courageous as anyone I know. For the entire time I knew Len he was suffering from Interstitial Lung Disease, which is a rare and brutal disease. This disease, which ultimately reduced his lung capacity to only 3%, took away his lung's natural ability to clear the fluid that builds up each day. To clear the fluid, Len had to spend several hours each night and day coughing the fluid out. I know that this caused him tremendous hardship, but I never heard him complain. Because of his reduced lung capacity he was often out of breath, but again, he would never complain. In fact, if the discussion turned to his health, he would tell you how much better he was feeling and quickly change the focus to something positive and uplifting. Even with this lung disease, he led his company at an extremely high level and set an example that we can all follow.
Lesson #7- Love
Len was a strong man with a big heart. He wasn't always comfortable expressing the love and appreciation he felt for the people he worked with, but they all knew what was in his heart. Towards the end of his life though, he ended every call or email by letting the people he was able to communicate with that he loved and appreciated them. When you know that time is running out and you have nothing to lose it's much easier to express how you feel, but what if in honor of Len we all started doing that more often right now. What have you got to lose?
I hope that the lessons I learned from Len will help you too. I miss him, but he will live in my memory until it is time for me too to leave this earth.
God Bless You Len. Yours was a life well lived.
Live Your Dreams!
Tom
Thomas McCarthy & Associates